Social Butterflies

Latest News

  • Trans Day of Visibility 2026

    Happy Trans Day of Visibility Butterflies and friends,

    Another March 31st has come and it is time to look back at how far we have come.

    While Trans, Intersex and Gender Non-Conforming people have always existed, most Western historical records of us sadly are from court cases, with those seeking to persecute us holding the power to define our stories. Figures such as Eleanor Rykener, Adelaide Herculine Barbin and Eleno de Céspedes largely only entered historical texts via their controversies.

    More recent champions of gender variance lived public lives as non-binary, trans, or gender fluid such as the aptly named Public Universal Friend, Lili Elbe, Roberta Cowell, Lucy Hicks Anderson, Christine Jorgensen, Reed Erickson and most famously Marsha P Johnson.

    These stories all built up to the moment we have now. The spotlight they drew led to our collective trans consciousness and culture. We now have words for how we feel and ways of explaining this to cis people, thanks to this culture.

    Trans Day of Visibility therefore is our most significant day. Remember those who championed our rights to our identities, and gave us a pathway to walk in public life.

    It is however, an important date to recognise that the significant attention our community has drawn, has not been all positive. Just as the visibility of other trans people has helped us identify just what it was that caused our depression, it has revealed us to those with hate in their hearts.

    The Australian Human Rights Commission published the The Equal Identities report yesterday. This report drew on 97 separate submissions, outlining three significant pillars of concern. (read the full report here.)

    BEING SAFE
    Trans and gender diverse people report high levels of physical, sexual and technology-facilitated violence and harassment – in public, at home and online – with significant impacts on health and wellbeing

    BEING SEEN AND HEARD
    Australia lacks robust, consistent population data on trans and gender diverse communities, which limits policy design, service delivery and accountability.

    BEING ABLE TO PARTICIPATE
    Broad religious exemptions from anti-discrimination laws. Discrimination persists in recruitment, career progression and workplace culture and Recent public discussions have contributed to the increased exclusion of trans and gender diverse people from sport.

    This Trans Day of Visibility, we need to pressure politicians to take on board the 19 recommendations outlined in the Equal Identities report, in order to advance upon the progress previous trans, intersex and gender non-conforming people have championed for us.

    Returning to the core purpose of Social Butterflies, we provide the perfect space for the closeted to explore themselves for the first time, and to be accepted into a community.

    Our visibility is so powerful. Each new Butterfly who visits our events sees us, sees how happy and healthy we are. They get to know us and they learn their stories are not so different. They experience such relief knowing there is a solution and a light at the end of the tunnel. It is so so important that all of us keep public profiles. Trans Day of Visibility is not just for being defiant before cis people, it is about standing up and ploughing a path into the future, so that others may follow us.

    It pains me to understand that I cannot truly tell closeted visitors that this life is all good. As the Equal Identities report states, there are so many challenges still harming us. We make a point of welcoming not just the transitioned, but those who can only live this life part time. Life is not always fair and we are not always going to be so privileged as to pursue self actualisation.

    Be brave, be bold. Don’t falter and don’t hide. We have nothing to be ashamed about and nothing to hide. By standing up and normalising this experience, others will be freed.

    Francine Ellis

  • Happy Birthday to US!

    Our January event is always a special one. It marks the fourth birthday of our community. We first met in late January 2022, just seven trans and gender diverse people emerging from yet another COVID lockdown.

    Since then we have grown so much as a community. So many new faces, stories, experiences and more. I love this community, while it has asked so much of me, it has given so much back. It gave me, ME. So it was a delight to celebrate four years together.

    The fundraiser was a success with $190 raised! We are a very lean operation so this actually has pushed us into a tiny profit of $67.20 when compared to all of our historical costs and fundraising. Time to invest in something very small!

    Our mission is not to merely provide a safe environment for new trans femmes to explore their gender, but also to give them a new social circle in which they can share experiences and knowledge. I look forward to many more years of meeting more of you and sharing your stories!

    Francine Ellis
    Social Butterflies founder

    See you soon! February 27th at
    Wheat, Wine and Whisky in Collingwood

  • November is TRANS MONTH

    Trans Month 2025 - Social Butterflies will meet on November 28th at wheat wine and whisky in Collingwood at 8pm

    Trans Month is our time. So much is on Trans Gender Victoria’s Trans Month calendar…including us!

    Social Butterflies will be the closing act on TGV’s calendar as we meet on the 28th of November. This will be an extra special night as we introduce something new: a live makeup demonstration!

    Francine and Chloe at the 2025 TGV Gender Revel Gala

    Our mission is not to merely provide a safe environment for new trans femmes to explore their gender, but also to give them a new social circle in which they can share experiences and knowledge. We did not have those experiences such as learning how to apply makeup as a teen. Fortunately we have each other to learn from.

    The live demonstration will be led by Chloe as she paints a volunteer’s face (Francine) for the first time! This will be in a casual Q and A format with a focus on troubleshooting, product theory, and technique so feel free to jump in with questions as she goes.

    The tutorial will loosely follow the format as seen in The Complete Social Butterflies Makeup Set (see below).

    The Complete Social Butterflies Makeup Set

    A quick shopping list and tutorial on how to assemble a great makeup set and how to apply it.

    Learn More

    See you soon! November 28th at
    Wheat, Wine and Whisky in Collingwood

  • We love our new home at Wheat, Wine and Whisky

    September saw the Social Butterflies community arrive at our new home of Wheat, Wine and Whisky in Collingwood. This relaxed and cozy environment is a perfect match for our needs with warm lighting, low volume levels and ample seating. The food menu was popular too with many having dinner to kick the night off.

    Overall this was a fantastic first night and a promising sign of things to come. We saw a cast of old friends and many new girls arriving at the Smith st location. The welcoming and calm tone is the perfect way to meet new people and to make that first step out in your true identity.
    We truly love this new location and the team who run Wheat, Wine and Whisky. Make sure to come around and see what this place is like.

    See you soon! October 24th at
    Wheat, Wine and Whisky in Collingwood

  • “Thank you for nominating me” – Francine Ellis

    Francine Ellis thanking the community for her nomination.

    “I am so taken aback by the news announced by Transgender Victoria today.

    I have put so much of myself into this community and in turn it has given so much back. Every day I am inspired by the generosity I see in my community. I am overjoyed watching the way in which you support, educate, assist and elevate each other. We really are growing together.”

    “The Social Butterflies iceberg is a fantastic metaphor for our community. What looks like a simple monthly party is, in fact, a carefully crafted launchpad for gender-diverse people to find acceptance. Upon arrival, a newcomer often feels immense relief, a powerful contrast to a lifetime of feeling like a “freak.” Here, they discover how normal, common, and healthy it is to be themselves. They forge new connections, find a new wardrobe at the clothes swap, and leave with life changing confidence.

    The Social Butterflies iceberg extends far deeper than our physical events. The Discord server changes everything. The “IRL” channel helps members build a new social calendar where their gender identity is normalised. They will never have to go to an event by themselves again. Our fashion channels are a space for mutual learning, where members can share advice on how to put together the perfect look. It’s a huge boost for those who missed out on learning these skills in their youth.

    Conversations online allow us to compare our experiences interacting with doctors, the law, employers and through this information sharing, we are more able to learn how to navigate the world through our unique trans perspectives.”

    “I’m continually humbled by the deep, heartfelt conversations that happen here. When someone is struggling, they’re met with an overwhelming amount of love and understanding. I often hear the phrase, “Thank God you have the Butterflies,” and it is a massive understatement.

    Recently, a new member joined our server, and within five days, they had a personal breakthrough. They realised they were trans and felt ready to tell their partner, all without ever attending an event! Simply being exposed to a community that understood their feelings was enough to inspire this life-changing revelation. This is why visibility is so crucial for the trans community—it’s not just about being seen; it’s about helping others see themselves.”

    “This community’s transformative power is clear to me, as I am not even the same shape I was when I hosted the first Social Butterflies event in January 2022. I’ve learned so much from all of you and have grown immensely.”

    “From the depths of my heart, thank you to everyone who has ever touched our community. We truly have changed so many lives. This nomination means so much to me in recognition of all of the sacrifice and dedication this community has asked of me. But thank you too for being there with me, supporting me in the hardest times and inspiring such faith in the collective good of humanity. I would not be who I am without you. You fill me with such pride.

    It may be my name on the awards list, but Social Butterflies is a collective effort. I stand so tall because I have some of the most fantastic people I have ever met lifting me up. I am so lucky to have met you all.

    Thank you”

    Francine Ellis

    The 2025 Gender Revel Gala

    Want to see me potentially collect an award at what easily is THE WHO’S WHO event of the Victorian Trans Community? Come to the second annual Gender Revel Gala! Last year was a blast and I cannot wait for this year’s event. Tickets are on sale now and will go fast.

    We shed our cocoons this September

    Mark your calendars for September 19th! And make sure to write down the location. We will be moving to a new home this month: Wheat, Wine and Whiskey in Collingwood.

    WWW or W3 as we call it is a fantastic gastro-pub on Smith St, arguably the most queer friendly street in Melbourne. There is nearby parking and the 86 tram. The streets are well lit and safe and the people you do meet outside are kind and non-judgemental.

    Inside you can expect warm lighting and a warm hug from one of the Butterflies. Come find us upstairs in the Mezzanine.

  • Our final Winter event of 2025 approaches

    Social Butterflies this August 22 at DT's Hotel in Richmond from 7:30pm onwards

    Winter can be a time of quiet reflection. As the days get shorter and we spend more time indoors, it’s natural for our thoughts to turn inward. For many trans femmes and cross-dressers who are still closeted, this can be a difficult time. It’s when the parts of yourself you’ve been hiding become harder to ignore.

    But what if you stopped ignoring that side of you and chose to embrace it instead?

    At Social Butterflies, our goal is to help you take that first step. We understand that going out as yourself for the first time can be intimidating, but our community at DT’s Hotel is warm, friendly, and welcoming. Imagine the feeling of being truly seen and accepted for who you are, without fear or shame. It’s a life-changing experience, and we’re here to help you begin that journey.

    Social Butterflies July

    The July meet was fantastic, our discord lit up with delight the very next day. We saw the return on many we had not seen since our first year as well as some new faces. For such a cold night, the reception inside DT’s Hotel was warm.

    A significant consequence of the July event is the return of a makeup specific channel to the discord. Key members of our community are on call in the Glow Up channel to provide makeup and fashion advice, all to ensure your glow up is as spectacular as possible.
    Access to this advice is exclusive to our private discord server. To request access, contact us here.

    See you soon! August 22nd at DT’s Hotel

  • Social Butterflies in July

    With Melbourne freezing over, the Butterflies still showed up and they brought baggage! The clothes swap was so successful that despite two large donations of coat hangers, the clothes racks were quickly overrun. The clothes swap will absolutely return in July as we work to get through the generosity of our regulars. Please don’t fear being greedy, if you see something you want, it is now yours.

    It is always a relaxed night at DT’s Hotel in Richmond and always warm. Enjoy a conversation with a new or old friend.

    If you are a trans femme, gender diverse person or a crossdresser who wants to meet new people who understand how you feel, please come down our July event. The volume is not too high, the butterflies are friendly and the experience of being surrounded by like-minded people is life changing.

    See you soon! July 27th at DT’s Hotel

  • May was a blast! Cya in June!

    We had lots of fun at the May Social Butterflies event. Plenty of new people appeared for their first visit which is always extremely exciting. Making those first steps is so scary, but once you are inside you realise the fear is not as real as the euphoria of being you.

    Social Butterflies in May and June are usually slow nights as the cold sets in, but this year has been an exception, with strong numbers turning up no matter how hard it rains or how cold it is.

    Fortunately it is always warm in DT’s Hotel and if all else fails: the clothes swap is there to provide extra layers free of charge!

    It was such a fun night spent with both new and old friends. If you are a trans femme, gender diverse person or a crossdresser who wants to meet new people who understand how you feel, please come down to DT’s Hotel in Richmond. The vibe is comfy and the therapeutic nature of finally being surrounded by like-minded people is life changing.

    For more on who we are and what a night out with us is like, see this interview with us on QNEWS.

    Social Butterflies
    A night that helps Victorian trans femmes belong

    See you soon! June 27th! DT’s Hotel

  • We just hit a milestone on our Discord server!

    Our invite-only Discord server was a game changer. In our early days, organising mostly-closeted trans girls and cross-dressers via direct messaging alone was as challenging as herding cats. How do we all find a collective date to meet on? A location? How do we let the more closeted and scared people know they will be safe if they come? How do we break the ice between those who do not know each other?

    Enter Discord

    The platform largely known for gaming has since taken a life of its own as a dynamic community management tool.

    Being part of our Discord server is a life changer! There’s always a good conversation going on. Whether it’s sharing trans memes, getting stuck into lively discussions, or sharing makeup, fashion and other transitioning tips, the community will aid you in progressing in your transition to whatever degree you need.

    Join our community

    If you are trans, gender diverse or otherwise dipping your toes into our world, there is a place here for you.

    Learn More

  • Save the date: May 23rd

    We are returning to our usual schedule of the fourth Friday of the month. That has us meeting on the 23rd of May.

    Raid your wardrobe and bring anything quality that deserves a new home as the Clothes Swap is returning! This popular new feature we introduced in January 2025 is in hot demand. We have donated all the clothes from this year which have appeared multiple times without finding a new home so expect a fresh round of offerings!

    “It’s my first time out in public in women’s clothes and I’m scared”

    If this is you, be you a cross-dresser or a closeted trans woman coming out for the first time; you’re in the right place. DT’s Hotel provide the perfect place to debut. It is not on a major road like most queer venues, so it is possible to park discreetly and enter the corner hotel without being seen. Inside it is relaxed and friendly and most importantly, the majority of the crowd are AMAB (assigned male at birth) femmes and non-binary people. They are just like you and have been there before making their own shaky first steps.

    It is perfectly ok to come completely dressed as a man if you are still scared. Please note that if you approach the girls in man-mode, make it known to them you are also one of the dolls. The majority of the guests are femmes seeking friendship of other femmes, if a man approaches, they may fear you are a chaser. But once we know you are one of us, we are happy to provide you the advice and motivation to come next time as the real you. At worst it will be like going to the swimming pool without your bathers. But at least you will leave knowing the water is warm for next time!

    See you soon! Put it in your diary: May 23rd!